After spending two weeks in India, I’m sick and tired of pushing. It seems like there’s something about the Indian culture that loves jockeying for position. Whether it’s boarding or exiting a plane, catching a train, or standing in line for food, there is incessant maneuvering to get the best position and ultimately get ahead.
I used to love to push.
Actually…if I’m honest with myself, I still love to push…especially when it comes to getting ahead. I like to be first in line. I like to feel like I’m a little bit ahead of everyone else. Somehow, it makes me feel more confident and secure about myself. The only problem is that it wears on me. Over time, I grow extremely weary from pushing. That’s true whether it’s getting on a train in India or pushing to accomplish goals that lead to my destruction.
I’ve pushed most of my life.
- I pushed in college to graduate with a BA and MA in four years.
- I pushed to get married early in life at 21 years of age.
- I pushed to find a role in full-time ministry.
- I pushed to plant a church.
- I pushed to grow that church to multiple campuses with hundreds of people.
- I pushed to create bigger and better weekend services.
In the process, all my pushing wore me out and led to my own demise. It was in an effort to find my identity in outward success, and I lost most of my relationships in the process. Thankfully, I was given a second chance in my marriage, and I’m now enjoying a freedom-filled life.
With that said, my normal pace is probably considering “pushing” by many. I’m not sure why, but I’ve developed an ability to handle multiple projects at the same time…and I enjoy it. Yet, during this season of life, I’m not working more than 40-50 hours a week (compared to the 70-80 of years past), and I’m spending more time with my family than ever before.
I didn’t push in 2009, and I don’t plan on it in 2010 either. Yet, I do plan to accomplish many things. A few that I have on my radar include…
- Enjoying my wife and kids every single day.
- Loving those who are part of New Wine Community.
- Developing new friendships with those who God brings into our lives.
- Inspiring, challenging, and motivating others as I’m given the opportunity to share my story.
- Serving great clients through 8TRACKstudios and 8TRACKphotography with financial feedback that results in earning more than I ever have in one year.
- Continuing to expand the reach of KAUZBOTS.
- Signing two book contracts with major publishers for “Lost and Found” and “Soul Renovation.”
- Writing another book.
- Taking our family and friends to India to visit our children’s home again.
These things are inspiring and invigorating to me, and I look forward to waking up to new opportunities every day. No need to push. No need to accomplish any of this to become “somebody.” I already am someone…a loved child of God, husband, father, and friend.
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