Stephanie – “My Husband Was Distant”

In coordination with the release of “Lost & Found: Finding Myself by Getting Lost in an Affair“, I’ve reached out to my readers to share their stories of infidelity. My hope is that you’ll be challenged by their experiences and invest in your own relationship even more. It’s easy to believe that the affair will provide the high or comfort that you’ve been longing for, but it rarely (if ever) lives up to such expectations.

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Stephanie – “My Husband Was Distant”

Were you married or dating when you became interested in someone else? Married.

Tell us about the condition of the relationship before the other person strayed.
My husband was distant. He moved across the country for a short term job. Our son was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, and my husband was in denial and didn’t believe that anything was truly wrong with our son. It strained our relationship. He wasn’t my soul mate. I felt empty inside. We couldn’t even be in the same room prior to him moving without an argument. We didn’t want to be around each other. He worked at a bar at night and often didn’t come home until well after 2am. He would stay up and play video games. I didn’t love him the way I should.

How did their affair impact your life – both during and after the relationship?
I didn’t trust him. It was a blessing in disguise. Once I found out about the infidelity, I had the strength to do grab my own life by the horns and follow my heart and put my life in God’s hands and trust where he was leading me.I truly believe that God created Mike (my old boyfriend) for me. We dated awhile and things at the time didn’t work out. We were young. I then met Paul (ex-husband). He loved me. My heart wasn’t entirely given to him because I knew in my heart that Mike was “the one.” I felt like I didn’t have a best friend that I had with Mike.

Did you reconcile with the person you cheated on?
If not, why not? If so, how did the reconciliation come about?
Paul and I got a divorce, and now I’m with Mike. I am happy. I feel that I am with the person I was meant to be with. I feel complete.

What did you learn from the experience?
Don’t marry someone off the hope to love them completely someday. Be patient and have faith in what God has planned for you. You can’t make your heart love someone. You can’t force feelings no matter how much you pray, believe or try.