Let Me Try It Before I Buy It
photo by David Trotter
As my family headed back to school this week, I could feel the stress level rising in my home. With Emerson going into 2nd grade at one school, Waverly entering middle school, and Laura teaching kindergarten at a third school, it felt like we were all going in separate directions…leaving me to work out of my home office.
In our “first marriage,” Laura handled most all of the household duties (including managing the care of our kids). Now, I’m trying to assist (and even lead the way) as I can. After years of having “Mommy” help them out, Waverly and Emerson are more prone to going to Laura for everything. I find myself jumping in with “I’ll help you” more often than not.
Lunch, Dinner, and Laundry
Although I clean the dishes most evenings, Laura has continued to pack lunches, make dinners, and do all the laundry…even after I moved back home. With the new school season in front of us, I really felt like this was an opportunity for me to step up to the plate a bit more. Yet, I was worried.
Would my wife expect me to do these things all the time if I started now?
The inconvenience of getting up early to pack two lunches and thinking through what we’ll have for dinner feels weighty. I’d rather just think about my business clients and writing projects than worry about things that feel like a stretch for me. Unfortunately, this tendency is simply relying upon age-old gender roles that leave my wife feeling overwhelmed and unsupported.
So…on Monday, I went grocery shopping, and I purchased groceries for the week and re-organized out refrigerator, freezer, and cupboards. On Tuesday, I mentioned that I’d pack lunches the next morning. I didn’t commit to doing it for the entire year…just one day.
I felt like I wanted to try it on before I bought it.
On Wednesday, I not only made both lunches, but I made dinner…and it wasn’t too bad. In fact, I liked serving my family in this way, and they responded positively. On Thursday, I did it again…and today (Friday)…once again. It felt good to help in this way without feeling the weight of a lifelong commitment to do these tasks. The positive results that come with partnering in the basic household duties is extraordinary.
Guys…Try It On!
If you’re prone to letting your wife carry most of the household duties, what would it look like to become more a partner with her? What can you try on with committing to every day for all of eternity?
