10 Signs That Your Man May Be Cheating
So, you’re wondering if your man may be cheating on you? That may be a good thing to worry about. Here are a few signs that could indicate your husband is connecting with another woman…at least setting himself up for the opportunity.
- He joins the gym and starts losing that gut.
Let’s face it. Who wants to have an affair with a guy whose gut is hanging over his belt? Not many people. Guys become extremely self-conscious when they’re looking to play the field. Your man may have been packing on the pounds for years, but all of a sudden, he’s interested in his health. In fact, I lost 35 pounds on the “affair and divorce” diet. I packed ALL 35 pounds back on until just recently when I’ve shed 20 pounds again by modifying my diet.Guys, let’s not use this an excuse to NOT hit the gym. I can hear it now…”I don’t want to cause my wife to think I’m having an affair.” Go ahead…get in shape, but keep your eyes on your own lady.
- He starts charging his phone in a “private” location.
If your man has the possibility of getting a phone call or text message from his new lady, he wants to make sure that his phone is well-hidden. He’ll keep it in his pocket all the time and never let it out of his sight. When it’s time to charge that bad boy up, he’ll ensure that the charging location is not within your sight or reach.Ask me how I know this. Yep, instead of charging my phone in the kitchen where I normally would leave it, I started charging it in an outlet on my side of the bed. Catch a hint ladies…he doesn’t want you to see the caller id.
- He deletes all incoming email, voicemails, and text messages when they used to pile up.
Once again, he is erasing any and all traces of communication. He wants to ensure that nothing can be left out in the open that may trigger a question from you. Frankly, I keep my inboxes need and tidy all the time. Therefore, this one never really would be a trigger in my life. Gals, you know the habits of your man. Be aware if something changes.
- He starts showering…alot.
If your man starts showering every chance he gets, catch a clue. Chances are…he’s showering to smell great to a little action with his new hottie, and he’s showering again to wash off the guilt that he feels after he comes home. (Plus, he may be worried about her lipstick, perfume, and any other residues of the relationship.)
- He buys new underwear, t-shirts, and socks.
If your man doesn’t normally buy these personal items for himself, be aware. This means that he’s either been watching old episodes of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” or he’s wanting to make sure his new lady doesn’t see the skid marks you’ve been dealing with.
- He is gone for periods of time that are unaccounted for.
He goes to the gym but doesn’t come home sweaty. He goes out for a smoke but doesn’t smell like cigarettes. He goes out for groceries and only comes home with one bag after four hours. Are you seeing the pattern? He’ll do anything possible in order to get out of the house so he can have time to make a phone call, text, or connect with the other gal.
- He uses quiet voice on the phone or hangs up quickly…or simply sends the call to voicemail.
“I can’t talk now…gotta go.” That’s a problem…be aware. My first question would be, “Oh…who was that honey?” Look for darting eyes and beads of sweat appearing on his forehead. He’ll be red in the face and stressing out.
- He starts keeping his car really clean.
If he used to have fast-food cups, old newspapers, and sweaty gym clothes in his car…and now the thing is immaculate, you better pick up on the signal. He’s wanting the other gal to have a great experience when she’s making out with him in the backseat as they’re parked in a secluded parking lot. Or, maybe he went to a recent “How to Keep Your Car Clean” seminar. Maybe that’s it.
- He spends a large amount of time online…especially after you go to bed.
Thanks to Facebook instant messaging, Skype, and iChat, guys can connect with their lovely ladies via computer from anywhere in the world. Does he stay up to do work after you go to bed? Does he try to sneak into bed without making a sound? Well, four options…he’s really doing work, he’s gambling online, he’s looking at porn, or he’s hooking up with another gal. You choose.
- He’s emotionally unavailable at home.
If your husband is “checked out” when he’s at home, you’ve got a major problem. Either, he’s having an affair or he’s just not into you or the family…and he’s setting himself up to have an affair. Numbing out on TV, the Internet, or anything else is a sure sign that he’s not “present” in the relationship. That doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s cheating on you, but it does mean that your relationship needs help.
If one of these signs is showing up in your man’s life, I wouldn’t be that worried. If you see several of these signs lining up or a pattern of erratic or new behavior, keep your eye on him.
Frankly, men don’t want to be asked the “A” question, “Are you having an AFFAIR?” It’s the worst question to be asked, so we’ll avoid it at all cost. Gals, heads up…if you ask, we’ll deny it every time. My advice…don’t even ask. Just start picking up on the signals, and I’ll give you “Five Ways to Test Your Husband’s Heart” later this week.
In preparation for the release of my new book “Lost & Found“, I’ll be addressing the topic of affairs and infidelity over the next few weeks. If you have a question you’d like me to address, email me.