I Wrote “Lost + Found” For You.
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On April 17, 2008, my life was destroyed…or so I thought. She left me. The woman I had been willing to ‘walk through the fire’ with went back to her husband and left me all alone.
Three friends took me to a hotel in Costa Mesa to get away from the apartment that had become nothing more than an empty tomb. It was the apartment that the ‘other woman’ and I leased, furnished, and shared for 40 days of ‘heaven and hell’ after I left my wife and resigned from my role as Lead Pastor of Revolution Church.
As I laid in a hotel bed that Thursday night, I announced to my friends, “This is going to make an incredible story. I’m going to write all about this craziness one day.” I had no clue how my story was going to unfold, but I had a sense that it would be a powerful account of how our decisions can have unexpected consequences.
Letting it Flow
In December of 2008, I outlined the entire book on the plane ride back from India, but it just sat there as a three page Word doc within the protected confines of my laptop. I wasn’t ready to write about it. It was too painful. It brought tears to my eyes just to think about it. As the months passed by and my life took on a new normal, I gained courage to share my story…until one day…I started writing.
With each sentence that formed, I experienced healing within my own heart and life. By authentically sharing my hopes and dreams combined with my rock bottom experience, I was liberated from much of the guilt, disappointment, anger, and resentment that I felt in my own life. To share my story of depravity and redemption in such a raw form was healing in and of itself.
I would spend focused time allowing the story to flow out of me…oftentimes closing my eyes as I typed and recounted my experiences. Thankfully, I had the coaching and assistance of Stacey Robbins to walk with me through the process as I wrote. She was incredibly helpful in asking me tough questions and guiding the story as it unfolded.
I Wrote “Lost + Found” For You
Although I gained so much from the writing process, ultimately…I wrote “Lost + Found” for you if you are…
- Stuck in a life (or marriage) you don’t want.
My story will help you see that your ‘stuckness’ is merely a figment of your imagination. Freedom is available for you in your present circumstances.
- Thinking about having an affair.
My story will open your eyes to the life implosion that awaits you. If it’s possible, learn from my experiences rather than having your own. - Trying to recover from an affair.
My story will give you hope that reconciliation is possible. Yes, he or she cheated. Yes, it’s brutal and devastating. Yet, it’s not the end. Healing and restoration are possible.
- Divorced because of an affair.
My story can give you an ‘insider’ view on how affairs often unfold. Just maybe…you’ll have compassion for your ex. Just maybe…your relationship could still be restored. - Shocked by how someone could cheat on their spouse.
My story will open your eyes to how it can happen to any of us…including you. Don’t think that it’s not possible in your situation. It is. - Rubbernecking at the pain of others.
My story will give you more pain to look at…and hopefully inspire you to quit rubbernecking and actually reach out to support someone. People need you to quit looking and start compassionately walking with them. - A pastor who loves your church more than your wife.
My story will be a mirror to the mistress that you’ve dedicated your life to. Perhaps, you’ll find a way to turn back to your first Love and quit cheating on your spouse.
- A leader who has the power to influence others.
My story will motivate you to use your influence to help the people you lead. Whether you run a business, operate a non-profit, or lead a church, there are individuals around you who are struggling through life. They’re having affairs, and their relationships are a wreck. You can do something about it.
I wrote “Lost + Found: Finding Myself by Getting Lost in an Affair” just for you.
