I Can Do Whatever I Want.

I can do whatever I want.
I love saying it…and believing it.
I can write my own permission slip.

For so long in my life, I felt limited by what I could say or do…wanting to be successful (and appropriate) in the eyes of others. That may sound odd to some who know me (and all my crazy antics), but I carried a great weight of “responsibility” for so many years that I finally got sick of it. I was tired of worrying about excelling in the eyes of others, the opinions of complainers, the grumbling of the self-righteous, the challenge of non-profit finances, and the concerns of leading a staff. 

My “care box” was empty.

In other words, I didn’t care what anyone thought about me or my life anymore. I wanted freedom! I just wanted to do whatever I wanted in this life. So…I did. It was absolutely heaven…and hell. I found that freedom was amazing because of the opportunity to explore and be adventurous. Over the past 2.5 years, I’ve…

• Chosen to express myself through new clothing.
• Lost quite a bit of weight and started living a healthier life.
• Started enjoying outdoor activities.
• Made a healthy living as an entrepreneur.
• Read and listened to communicators outside of my sphere of normal study.
• Developed friendships without needing something from them.
• Connected with my wife and children more than ever.
• Opened my mind to the possibilities of life.
• Deconstructed my view of church and ministry life.

On the other hand, I’ve experienced the “hell” of freedom as well. Without taking responsibility during a few months of my life, freedom was a license to live any way that I wanted without regard to (and in the fact of) the repercussions. Prior to that point, I led so much of my life with a constant awareness of the possible backlash or fallout that I felt stifled and overwhelmed. My reaction was to break free from the chains that bound me (in my mind and heart) to be able to do whatever I wanted to do.

With the help of my therapist and a few close friends, I began integrating “responsibility” – the opportunity to live in such a way that honors and serves those around me – after experiencing the devastating results of freedom without limits.

Freedom without limits results in a self-centered life without regard to how one’s action will impact the lives of others. The truth is that you and I have the “freedom” to…

• Eat, smoke, and snort whatever we want.
• Develop a sexual relationship with anyone in this world.
• Make money any possible way.
• Spend our time doing absolutely anything.
• Rack up as much debt as we want.
• Go anywhere…any time.

If we lived without responsibility (without a desire to honor or serve those around us), we would leave a wide wake of destruction behind us. Some of us have…either for a season…or for our entire lives. The process can be unbelievably liberating, but the results are absolutely devastating.

What does it look like for you to live a life of freedom with responsibility?

• Do you need to embrace more of the FREEDOM that’s available to you?
• Or, do you need to take more RESPONSIBILITY for your actions before you even take them?

Tell me what you think.