Last month, Lost & Found: Finding Myself by Getting Lost in an Affair was released in paperback and Kindle, and the response has been incredible. Each day, the correspondence with readers has overwhelmed me. I’m amazed how our story is being used to inspire and challenge others – some who have never been married and others who are struggling through an affair themselves. Reviews like this one make me so glad that I wrote this challenging book.
If you haven’t picked up a copy, here’s an excerpt from Chapter 1 to get you started…
As the chair slowly reclined, my heart began to race like that of a lamb led to slaughter. I gripped the padded arms of the chair and stared intently at the photos of his children as they gazed back at me from the wall. The muscles in my legs began to tighten, and I could feel perspiration forming on my forehead. I was straining to get out of there, but we hadn’t even gotten started yet.
I was in the chair of my orthodontist.
Normally, my experience at his office was quite pleasant. Unlike the first time I had braces as a prepubescent pre-teen, I actually enjoyed the process. The two ladies at the front counter were more than happy to make my appointments, and his assistants who did most of the work on me were gentle and always interested in what I was up to. On top of that, he was comping all the work, because I was…his pastor.
Humbling for sure.
When someone gives me a gift because of my role in their life, it is both encouraging and awkward at the same time. In this case, it had become painful.
As his 6’ 4” frame hovered over me, his greeting was followed by two large hands heading straight for my mouth. My fear was that he would use his repertoire of ortho tools to slowly dismantle my teeth one by one or tighten my braces to the point that everything simply collapsed into my throat. My mind was running wild with fear…that he was on to us.
“Does he know?
Is he blind?
How can he not know?”
Thank God he didn’t talk that much. Adjustments were made, small talk was exchanged, and I was almost out of there. Hopefully, my anxiety and accompanying sweaty pits were not showing. All I had to do was check in at the front desk and get out the door.
As I was making my obligatory next appointment (which would be rendered meaningless within days), I noticed that he was lingering aimlessly in the lobby. Checking his Blackberry over and over nervously, he just stood there, and I was getting freaked out.
“Shit! He’s waiting for me,” I screamed in my head.
As I turned to walk out the front door, I felt his presence coming close from behind. I was preparing for the worst, but I wasn’t quite sure what to do. As he called my name, my fists clinched, and I was ready.
“If he takes a swing, dodge it, and take your best shot,” I kept telling myself.
“David, I just wanted to let you know…” he held back with a pregnant pause.
“Yeah?” I responded nonchalantly.
“I just want to let you know that I’m happy for you that you’re taking a sabbatical,” he said graciously. “I’ll be praying for you for sure.”
“Um…thanks Ken…I…appreciate that,” I stumbled through my words.
My fists unclenched, but my butt cheeks didn’t. As he headed back in, I bolted for my car with cell phone in hand. I double-clicked the call button and re-dialed her number.
“Hello?” she answered after the first ring.
“Hey,” I exhaled.
“Are you okay? Did he say anything?” she nervously asked.
“Hell, yes! Of course he said something! He said he is praying for me…what the heck?!?”
She burst into laughter at the shock of his words and his cluelessness of what was impending.
“He didn’t ask you any questions? Or pry about anything?” she asked.
“Thank God no. I’m so glad that’s over,” I said. “He has no clue what’s coming…are you ready to tell him?”
A month prior, I would have never imagined that I’d fall in love with my orthodontist’s wife…
…who was also my wife’s best friend.
It all started in the months leading up to a two-week mission trip to southern India. Although I experienced the beauty and brokenness of India on multiple occasions, this trip was being led by one of our staff pastors and three leaders who had joined me on each previous trip. Their leadership freed me up to relax a bit and play more of a pastoral role within our team of 17 men and women. We had so many wonderful things planned including a children’s vacation bible school, water well dedications, food distribution, and much more.
As the trip started to draw near, I found myself becoming more and more weary from 10 years of full-time ministry…5 of which had been spent starting a new church in the communities surrounding Long Beach, a multi-ethnic city in southern California. What was glamorous in the beginning had become a brutal grind with over 70 hours invested weekly in much of what Jesus probably never envisioned.
I’ll never forget the first time I saw her…Samantha that is.
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