Have you ever seen someone in public and ducked behind the nearest large object to avoid a moment of awkwardness?
An awkward encounter may involve…
- A former co-worker who you never really got along with.
- An ‘ex’ who you had a bad breakup with….or who you’re still attracted to.
- That parent from your kid’s class that won’t shut up about how bad the _________ is.
- A client who hasn’t paid their bill in months.
- A friend who gossiped behind your back…and you found out.
You probably have a few people on this list…people you’d duck and run from…rather than dealing with the simple “hi” and “bye” of that tension-filled moment.
I used to have a short list of these people…a college buddy who I had a falling-out with, a pastor who fired me from a church, and a pastor who I bailed on when I was in college. That was about it. (Thankfully, I’ve reconciled with two out of the three in the last couple of years.)
Unfortunately, this list of “awkward people to encounter” grew rapidly when I imploded my life. There are literally hundreds of people that I haven’t seen in two years…and I ran into a few of them today.
I saw them coming toward me in the parking lot.
Should I duck and cover? Or, should I walk toward them and engage in conversation? Interestingly enough, I immediately walked toward them. They played an important role in my former life, and I deeply appreciate them…but there is great awkwardness with two years of disconnection. I waved and said hello…sticking my hand out to shake theirs…which is awkward in and of itself since I used to greet them warmly with a hug quite regularly. They had relatives with them, so it was not exactly the time to “catch up.”
Here are four ways I tend to deal with awkward encounters…
- Duck and cover.
Run away. Find the nearest tree or pillar or rack of clothes. Whatever it takes, hide and hope they didn’t see you. If they did, act as if you never saw them.
. - Act as if nothing ever happened.
This is the ultimate polite response. Smile, say “hello”, and comment about the weather. Then, when it gets mildly awkward say, “Well, enjoy your afternoon.”
. - Mention that it would be great to re-connect.
If you’re ready to re-connect and deal with whatever the issue was/is, then offer to call or email. Talk about setting an appointment to have coffee or dinner…and actually follow up to do so.
. - Dive into the issue on the spot.
In some occasions, it may be appropriate to jump right in and discuss the issue between you. Share your disappointment, apologize, and seek to make amends. Whatever it takes…just get started working through the issue.
Well, I chose option “B” in this case. Although I’d enjoy re-connecting, it just felt way too awkward…and I definitely wasn’t going to jump into the issue on the spot since they had relatives with them.
Re-connecting can be tough, can’t it?
There are so many things to say.
And, there’s the possibility for more disappointment, tension, or conflict.
Maybe we’ll re-connect one day.
Maybe one of us will make the first move.
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