30 days ago, I set out to be more “intentional” about some things in my life…particularly in the area of creativity. I felt like I was getting in a bit of a rut (i.e., working for work sake), and I didn’t want to settle in that lifestyle again. I set out to be intentional in numerous areas of my life, and I’m bummed that I didn’t pull off everything I set out to do. Ironically, I ended up “experiencing” more than I expected!
A Few Highlights:
- I landed two HUGE projects.
I started the 30 days with multiple projects through 8TRACKstudios already in the works, but nothing new was getting started. Midway through, I landed two HUGE jobs that are keeping me busy and the cash continuing to flow.
. - I lost 14 pounds.
Although I’ve been “splurging” one day a week, I’ve virtually eliminated all bread, pasta, rice, cheese, butter, sugary sweets, and fried foods. In the process, I’ve lost 14 pounds. I only worked out twice, so I really need to get back in the habit of hitting the gym. I’m continuing the modified diet, and I’d like to lost another 10-15 pounds.
. - I got really sick.
I rarely ever get ill, but I had an intense cold for two weeks straight. I used Afrin nose spray after the first few days of suffering, and I didn’t realize that you’re only supposed to use it for three days. It jacked up my sinuses and actually ended up making them worse in the second week. Thank God for the Target pharmacist giving me a heads up on the issue. I feel back to normal now!
. - I wrote a new book.
Although I set out to finish “Life Launch“, it just didn’t happen. Instead, I started a new book called “Awaken My Life” that includes 200 photos from India with a raw, heartfelt essay. It should be published and available through Amazon.com within the next month. And, I’ll keep plugging away on “Life Launch”…it’s about 1/3 of the way done.
. - I planted quite a few succulents.
Originally, I wanted to take a floristry class, but I ended up arranging succulents in a number of vintage pots instead. I loved laying out the plants, and I plan to continue arranging them as gifts for friends.
. - I had fun using my vintage typewriter.
I’ve enjoyed using my vintage typewriter to type a number of notes to friends and clients, and I plan to keep using it. It truly causes me to slow down and think deeply about what I want to say to the individual.
. - I captured hundreds of visual moments.
I did quite a bit of photo work for corporate clients, portrait clients, and our family. I have several upcoming bookings, and I’m enjoying it as a side business.Rotating out 8×12 images on our photo wall and in our matted frames keeps our home looking fresh and unique.
. - Our family bought bikes.
We have loved the new activity for our family, and Emerson has just about gotten the hang of it.
. - Our faith community is growing…in more ways than one.
We started a faith community last year, and we truly enjoy being together…including our spiritual gathering each Sunday at our home. We’ve started connecting and sharing our lives with one another even more as of late, and the life-change has been tremendous. On top of that, we feel like it’s time to actively invite others to start joining us on this journey of following Jesus. It’s fun to see new people join the community and experience the beauty of it all.
. - Laura and I celebrated 16 years of marriage…off and on.
It’s been a rough two years to say the least, but we’re flourishing like never before. It’s amazing how the mixture of emotions surrounding our anniversary almost stole the opportunity to enjoy being with one another. I have such an amalgamation of loss, grief, sorrow, happiness, and joy when I think about our marriage. I really didn’t want to feel all that stuff at one time, but I openly shared all those thoughts and feelings with Laura on our way out to dinner. Frankly, the food and atmosphere were horrible, but we had a wonderful time just being together “in the moment”…not trying to fix the past or figure out the future.
. - I hired a great assistant.
Over the past year, I made somewhat of a vow to never have an employee ever again. I knew that was unrealistic, but it just felt good to say to myself. I find that there is so much added stress in managing someone else that I didn’t think it was healthy for me (or the other person). Believe me…I know that I’m not fun to work for. Well, it turns out that a new friend in our faith community really needed a job, so I suggested that he become my assistant. Frankly, I didn’t need an assistant, but he needed to learn some job skills…and I realized that I needed to learn how to invest in someone without trying to squeeze every ounce of productivity out of them. I’m investing, he’s learning, and we’re enjoying the journey.
. - I’ve been focusing on a ministry of the “moment” rather than a ministry of “momentum.”
In my former life, everything was focused on building momentum…every Sunday service, every sermon, every meeting, and every conversation. I’ve intentionally set aside my love for momentum which has caused me and others a great deal of pain in the past. Now, I find that I’m intentionally creating margin in my lie so that I’m available to be present in the “moment” for family, friends, and people in need. The results are quite different to say the least.
. - I’m out of the rut.
After 30 days, I feel like I’m not working for work sake anymore. I’m able to enjoy myself during the day for a few hours doing something other than “work.” Whether it’s photography, writing, watching an interesting show, or going for a bike ride…I’m giving myself permission to enjoy the moment.
. - I still struggle with depression.
At the encouragement of my therapist, I continue to take a low dose of anti-anxiety and anti-depression medication. The anti-anxiety meds really help me remain “present” with my family, and it prevents me from incessantly running through an arbitrary list of things I need to do. In turn, my need to be driven 24/7 has subsided a great deal. These meds have literally changed my life. The anti-depression meds have alleviated the darkness that seeped back into my world last year. My therapist indicates that my brain in still healing from all the trauma that I put it through, and the meds are creating space for me to deal with my new life. My reason for living was pretty much destroyed when I walked away from full-time ministry. Now, I’m re-orienting my life toward new reasons to live, but it just takes time. When I wake up on many mornings, my mind is clouded with depressing thoughts that just aren’t truth about who I am or what my life’s about. It can take my breath away, and I work to get out of that mode quickly. Dealing with all of that is an ongoing process of learning. We’ll see how that plays out in the days to come.
Life is complicated, isn’t it? Well, at least mine can be. I love being intentional about each and every day…and the last 30 days were quite interesting.
Writing
Flower arranging
Photographing
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