Hard Choice #2 – “We Looked in the Mirror”
This week, Laura and I are sharing 5 Hard Choices We Made During Our Reconciliation. These are key ways that we were able to deal with the pain and brokenness in our marriage instead of simply sweeping it under the rug. Whether you’re dealing with overcoming an affair or simply trying to develop a more intimate relationship, we hope these choices may be beneficial to you as well.
Yesterday, we shared Choice #1 – “I Shut My Mouth.” Today, we’re sharing another important decision we made that helped us develop personal health that led to a great possibility of reconciliation in our marriage. Feel free to watch the short video or read a few insights below.
Hard Choice #2 – “We Looked in the Mirror”
Whether you’ve experience infidelity in your relationship or not, it is easy to focus on the issues of the other person…rather than your own. We both committed to looking in the mirror and recognizing our own challenges and shortcomings. If we would have spent considerable time concentrating on each other’s issues, we wouldn’t have experienced personal transformation.
Most couples in crisis are more interested in blaming and fixing the other person rather than taking responsibility for their own issues.
Frankly, one of the reasons I left my wife was because I wanted someone to be my ‘partner’ in this life. I wanted someone excited about ministry. I wanted someone who was adventurous and affection…someone who believed in me. After spending three days in a psych ward and battling suicide for two weeks, I began to realize a powerful truth.
If I want something in a relationship, I need to bring it to the table.
In other words, if I want a partner, I need to be a partner.
If I want to experience adventure, I need to initiate adventure.
If I want affection, I need to be affectionate.
As I initiate those things, Laura has naturally joined in and experienced it with me. I didn’t force it on her or expect her to change. I am the one who needed to change. It all starts with looking in the mirror.
It's fascinating to be able to experience this with you both. I remember the last time I heard David teach was on Eph 5; the difficult passages regarding marriage. Laura was up on the platform also, and the lesson was obviously difficult to bring. However, you're both now living out this lesson in a much different manner, I think, than you believed was happening then. Bravo to you, Laura, for being a Daughter of God who honors that beautiful designation, for yourself, your children and the Lord! And to you, Dave, for recognizing Laura's value and the gifts she brings into the lives of you and your children, and the Bride. There is no moment in our lives that cannot be used for our benefit, for those around us, and for the glory of God. Thank you for your willingness to remind us. Bendiciones!