Hard Choice #3 – “I’m Sorry Wasn’t Enough

As my new book “Lost + Found: Finding Myself by Getting Lost in an Affair” is making its way into the hands of readers, Laura and I are sharing 5 Hard Choices We Made During Our Reconciliation. These are key ways that we were able to deal with the pain and brokenness in our marriage instead of simply sweeping it under the rug. Whether you’re dealing with overcoming an affair or simply trying to develop a more intimate relationship, we hope these choices may be beneficial to you as well.

First, we shared Choice #1 – “I Shut My Mouth” and yesterday we talked about Choice #2 – “We Looked in the Mirror.” Today, we’re sharing another important decision we made that helped us develop personal health that led to a great possibility of reconciliation in our marriage. Feel free to watch the short video or read a few insights below.

Hard Choice #3 – “I’m Sorry Wasn’t Enough”

Instead of saying “I’m sorry” and sweeping the affair under the proverbial rug, we needed to express remorse over our shortcomings and failures in our marriage. This played out as we spent hours on the phone…Laura at our family’s home and me in my apartment some 30 minutes away.

Laura would call me and pour out her heart about he pain, brokenness, and disappointment she was experiencing. I knew that I couldn’t fix anything. All I could do was listen and appropriately express my remorse and sorrow. There was nothing I could do that would take away the intense agony other than simply listening.

Our discussions weren’t limited to the actual affair, but we spent a considerable amount of time discussing our disappointments over the past 15 years. We talked about my workaholism, Laura’s willingness to sacrifice her own desires and voice, and my lack of ‘presence’ in our family. Sitting in the sorrow allowed us to feel the full weight of the disappointment and motivated us to make significant changes.

In the process, we both took responsibility for the condition of our marriage.