David Trotter – Author, Speaker, Consultant

Two years ago today, I left my life behind. I was sick and tired of my marriage and ministry. I was completely burned out on overworking and chasing success in the name of ministry, and I was disconnected from my family. I felt all alone, and I wanted a partner in life.

Instead of climbing my way out of the long, 15-year rut that I found myself in, I chose to implode my life. I didn’t want to do the hard work of investing in a great marriage. I wanted to start over with someone else. After following the “rules” by doing what was right, strategic, and practical most of my entire life, I didn’t care what anyone else thought.

I chose freedom.
I chose intimacy.
I chose passion.

Within 40 days, this new path led to destruction. I found myself more alone than ever…wanting to end my life. I checked myself into a hospital for three days, and I battled suicide for another two weeks after I got out. That is…until I apologized to my wife on May 3rd. From that day forward, I’ve never wanted to kill myself. Instead, I set the trajectory of my heart toward the woman I originally covenanted to be with, and I’ve been working on an intimate partnership with her. After 6 months out of my family’s home, I moved back in August.

Ironically, my therapist pointed out that he fully supported what I did. I was searching for freedom, intimacy, passion, and an enjoyable life. What he couldn’t support was HOW I went about trying to get it. Although my life hit rock bottom, I ultimately ended up finding what I really wanted.

Since that day two years ago…

• I’ve taken significant steps in allowing Transformation in my life through therapy, a brain scan, and medication.
• I’ve received incredible amounts of grace and forgiveness from my wife, kids, family, and friends.
• I’ve reoriented my life around my wife and family instead of work and success.
• I’ve deconstructed my faith to be more centered on Jesus and less on building a large church that is focused on a fancy Sunday event.
• I’ve re-focused my gifts on helping corporations develop effective marketing.
• I’ve enjoyed reconnecting with my passion for photography.
• I’ve started sharing my passion for a rich, meaningful life through my writing and video podcasts.
• I’ve written the journey of my destruction and redemption in a memoir that will be published this year.
• I’ve outlined a book on making a comeback that I plan to write this year, and Laura and I are set to write another book on recovering from an affair.
• I’ve started developing great friendships with several guys that I truly love and care about.
• Laura and I have started a faith community with a few others, and we’re thoroughly enjoying it.
• Laura and I helped start a children’s home in southern India for 30 orphans.
• I’ve quit striving toward success or building something; instead, I’ve just been “enjoying” every day and letting God unfold what’s next.
• I’ve embraced my strengths and weaknesses, and I worry less and less about what others think of me.
• I’ve grieved the loss of the church that I birthed, loved, and gave everything for.
• I’ve mourned the disconnection, brokenness, and loss of so many relationships.
• I’m trusting God to provide all that we’ll need in this new season of life.

I deeply appreciate those who have supported me on this journey, and I have compassion for those who haven’t been able to (and many who still can’t). I’m thankful that God is gracious and merciful, because I continue to need it each and every day. If I could take away the pain that I’ve cause people, I’d do it in a heartbeat…but I can’t. All I can do is make amends daily by following Jesus, loving my family, and serving others with the gifts I’ve been given.

Trust me when I tell you…it may seem harder to STAY and work through the issues than to simply LEAVE and just start over. It isn’t worth it. If you’re thinking about leaving your life and you need someone to talk to, we’re here for you. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

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